MSNBC President Phil Griffin has vowed to launch a “thorough and complete investigation” to root out “any insidious, racist teleprompters in our midst.”
After anchor Contessa Brewer was victimized by a racist ‘prompter that couldn’t tell the difference between Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton, the news organization realized that it had a serious problem on its hands.
“It’s something that we probably should have paid more attention to after the first few incidents,” said Griffin.
Griffin then detailed some recent ‘prompter faux pas that the post-racial Obama administration network of choice originally dismissed as isolated incidents.
Last spring, one teleprompter apparently told Chris Matthews to say “I have a lot of black friends, I even invite them over to my house.”
Fortunately, explained Griffin, “The president was speaking at the time and Chris soiled himself. We were able to catch the problem before he began broadcasting.”
Shortly after that, the ‘prompters began following up each speech by President Obama with the words “he’s well spoken”.
“I don’t know how we missed that” fumed Griffin, “I mean, that’s the kind of crap I’d expect from a Fox News teleprompter, not one of ours!”
MSNBC prides itself on its racial sensitivity. It often has minority guests appear on shows anchored by its many white hosts.
Griffin reassured Brewer fans that no action would be taken against her.
“Heavens no, Contessa was just doing things the way she’s used to doing them. She doesn’t even go to the bathroom unless there’s a ‘prompter that says ‘Front To Back’ in the stall.”
Brewer also defended herself, saying, “I certainly would have noticed a difference if Rev. Jackson had only rhymed a little off-air before I introduced him.”
UPDATE: TOTUS RESPONDS TO MSNBC WITCH HUNT!