Remember the drunken hordes chanting “O-BAM-A!”? That was SO 2008. Never before has a speech by President Barack Obama felt as false as his Tuesday address announcing America’s new strategy for Afghanistan. It seemed like a campaign speech combined with Bush rhetoric — and left both dreamers and realists feeling distraught. One can hardly blame [...]

WaPo continues to go out of its way to make the country wistful for the journalistic integrity of, say, Globe Magazine or Weekly World News. Perhaps the real reason that American newspapers are unable to make any money is because of the huge Chap-Stick expenditures necessitated by their constant kissing of President Obama’s ass. President [...]

We couldn’t possibly get this waste of prime Manhattan real estate shoved to the bottom of the Atlantic quickly enough. The United Nations has to be the most God-awful collection of human beings outside of Cave Osama. In case you weren’t sure, human gender is “changeable over time and contexts,” sex slaves must not be [...]

From the pit of my stomach. Afghanistan is not in imminent danger of falling to the Taliban, President Obama’s national security adviser said Sunday as he downplayed worries that the insurgency could set up a renewed sanctuary for Al Qaeda. Retired Gen. James Jones made the comments on the same day eight U.S. soldiers were [...]

Although Bejamin Netanyahu and Gordon Brown both had much longer distances to travel this week than President Obama, each managed to bring something along that POTUS didn’t: a pair of testicles. After the revelation that Iran has been jerking the international community’s chain over nukes, it seemed like the perfect time for President Obama to [...]