When Canadian border officials asked what we were bringing into the country, we conveniently forgot to mention the Costco-size pallet of industrial-strength whoop-ass we had in the trunk.

Read the whole article on American Olympic exceptionalism.

Ah, well, the Canadians still have Cheryl Bernard:

I’ve finally figured it out: the more the lefties get their faces screwed up with anger over her, the better looking Sarah Palin gets. It’s like a weird, political Dorian Gray thing.

Shatner is always fun. Palin works a crowd better than anybody right now (yes, even The Anybody). She also gets a pretty nice reception for an irrelevant, polarizing figure.

Email this to your lib friends just so you can hear them scream.

(h/t AoSHQ)

It’s a cold, rainy SoCal Monday so I thought a little palate cleanser was in order. Find an adult beverage and enjoy.

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

Honestly, if Princess Delts can get the chubby urchins in America off their pampered asses, I’m all for it.

First, the buff first arms. Then the First Lady’s White House playground. Then the First Lady’s White House victory garden. Then the First Lady’s patronage of farmer’s markets for things that grow in the filthy ground or hang on trees where birds perch and do things.

It’s a given that too many Americans are obese. They don’t exercise enough. The good news is their flabby thighs are hidden by their drooping stomachs.

Now, today First Lady Michelle Obama had a Healthy Kids Fair on the sunny White House South Lawn. Will this healthy stuff ever stop with these people?

Yes, of course, it’s a political show. Playing with kids at a scheduled time that allows TV studio editors to process the video in time for the afternoon/evening newscasts is part of American public life now, regardless of party. (Think the Bushes’ adorable T-ball games at the White House).

But M.O.’s enthusiasm is almost contagious, making some American adults at least contemplate getting up out of their La-Z-Boys to move their enlarged bodies slightly. And not just toward the fridge.

I would gladly trade three more years of watching the First Lady hula-hoop for her husband doing his contortionist act, pulling facts out of his you-know-what to pitch his latest scheme from Used Car Salesman school.

He would do the nation far more service if he used his bully pulpit to spread the message about getting kids away from the TV.

Sometimes we have to step away from trivial subjects like politics and ponder the weightier topics facing mankind, like whether there’s a yeti in Poland dogging the ladies.

A teenager has added fresh rumour to the yeti debate after claiming the beast spied on her in her bikini as she paddled in a river.

Justyna Folger was having a dip during a camping trip when a shadowy creature appeared on the opposite bank.

‘At first I thought it was a bear but it appeared to be stooping and then it raised itself on to two legs and ran off. I couldn’t believe it,’ said Miss Folger, 19.

Full disclosure: none of the Poles mentioned in this article are relatives of mine, although the thing in the video does bear a striking resemblance to my uncle Grzegorz. Imagine that in a Speedo and you will understand why I avoid family vacations.

Na zdrowie.

Into every life, a little Onion must fall.

My faves are the budget he submits while depressed and the claim that Crazy Joe Biden is really just afflicted with Asberger Syndrome.

Enjoy the video:

White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase